Painting My Journey: My Self-Interview on Discovering Art
As a child in rural Japan, how did your interest in aesthetics develop?
Growing up, I was always captivated by the world of aesthetics. This passion traced back to age 6 when I found myself engrossed in the vivid pages of "ViVi," a renowned Japanese teen fashion magazine. Living in a rural part of Japan, my access to the latest trends was limited, yet I found myself drawn into the fashion universe, if only through glossy pages.
Fashion, to me, was more than just clothes—it was a form of self-expression. Yet, it was a struggle to find a balance between societal expectations and my desire to express myself in the conservative Japanese society. My daring sartorial choices often found me at odds with the more subdued societal norms, whether at school or within the broader community. This tension, though challenging, sparked my journey into the realm of creative self-expression.
Despite having a strong inclination towards aesthetics and self-expression, you chose to study business marketing instead of art or fashion. Can you elaborate on what led you to this decision?
Looking back, I see my academic trajectory as an unconventional path towards my true passion. While business marketing might seem a stark divergence from the creative fields of art or fashion, I found the discipline to be an intriguing canvas in itself. It gave me a platform to connect and communicate with audiences through various mediums, serving my inherent desire for self-expression.
However, as I delved deeper, I found myself yearning for a form of communication that was less prescriptive and more personal—more open to interpretation. I sought the kind of nuanced expression one might find in a piece of poetry or a short story.
Interestingly, life has a way of guiding us towards our true calling. My journey has been interspersed with various forms of self-expression, from fashion to performing arts like dance and martial arts. Even during my stint in the tech industry, my passion for design found ways to surface. Though I never pursued these paths in a formal capacity, I now realize that they were all stepping stones leading me to my ultimate medium of expression—painting.
I spent a considerable amount of time unconscious of the fact that I wasn't actively pursuing these interests. Was it societal conditioning, steering me away from what was considered non-traditional? Or was it self-doubt, born from comparing my skills to those of others? Perhaps a mix of both.
However, I have come to understand and appreciate that every detour and delay was, in fact, a part of my journey. I'm learning to dispel the urge to categorize my experiences into 'successes' and 'failures.' Each step, each detour, brought me closer to where I am today. I've stopped judging myself and started cherishing my journey. After all, it has shaped my artistic sensibilities and led me to the beautiful world of painting.
In retrospect, I realize that the absence of 'achievement' or 'success' as the driving factors has allowed me to truly find joy in what I do. Painting has taught me to cherish the process, embrace my unique pace of growth, and above all, to enjoy the simple act of creation.
A Shared Language: Discovering Art and the Artist's Process
Alyssa Burtt, an artist I met at a startup event in Vancouver, quickly became a close friend. Our shared entrepreneurial spirit and sensitivity towards societal norms helped us build a strong connection.
Our relationship took a unique turn during the Culturecrawl art fest in Vancouver. Alyssa was showcasing her art, and I was the subject of one of her pieces. This immersive experience sparked a newfound curiosity about the creative process behind art and how artists imbue their work with layers of meaning.
Despite being part of her creation process, initially, I found it challenging to connect with the deeper, layered meanings within Alyssa's work. However, as I spent more time with her and immersed myself in various art forms—through regular gallery visits and being open minded about art—I started to develop a more profound understanding and appreciation for artistic expression.
Embracing the Canvas: Alyssa’s Guided Foray into Painting
During the early days of the unfolding pandemic and amidst personal challenges, Alyssa opened another door for me. She invited me over for a painting night at her place. Despite having zero knowledge about painting, I embraced the opportunity. I had no understanding of acrylics, brush maintenance, or how to manage paint on my palette. In those early days, I undoubtedly wasted quite a bit of Alyssa's expensive paints, something I owe her an apology for.
Despite my initial clumsiness, these painting nights were a revelation. Alyssa's approach was liberating—she provided the old canvas which had her unfinished paintings, the paints, and complete freedom to explore. She didn’t box me into any rigid guidelines or rules. I quickly discovered that painting was less about creating perfect lines and more about raw expression and emotion. The canvas became a playground for my thoughts and feelings, a means to externalize my internal world. This realization marked the true beginning of my journey into painting, nurtured by Alyssa's gentle guidance and my growing appreciation for the world of art.
What drew you towards painting as a medium for self-expression?
Painting, especially with acrylics, allowed me to explore without restrictions, to make mistakes and learn. Drawing, focused on lines and precision, felt intimidating. In contrast, painting felt liberating, a journey into the unknown that suited my curious nature.
Acrylics aligned perfectly with my style. Fast-drying and forgiving, they enabled me to work at my own pace. It was about enjoying the process, regardless of the outcome—a philosophy that guided my life.
How did your return to Japan and the onset of COVID-19 impact your newfound interest in painting?
Upon returning to Japan at the end of 2020 and dealing with the implications of COVID-19, I found myself confined to a small, sun-starved apartment. But limitations often inspire creativity. The first thing I did was order a basic set of brushes, a 24-color paint set from Mont Marte, and some Watson paper stack.
Painting became a lifeline during this confinement period. I felt as if I was bringing the otherwise bland, white walls to life with each brushstroke. I had fun, transforming my thoughts and feelings into an array of colors and shapes. It wasn't about producing a perfect artwork; it was about the journey—the exploration, the learning, the expression. This personal experience made my apartment a bit more welcoming and infinitely more colorful.
Painting I started during this period, and one of the few paintings I have completed.
How has your relationship with painting evolved over time?
Initially, painting was merely an activity I incorporated into my routine. I was curious to explore the medium, so I consumed countless online videos and embarked on a self-taught journey. After returning to my hometown in Japan, I found myself isolated. The pandemic had pushed interactions into the digital realm and my work at a tech startup was entirely remote. As someone with a minority point of view, it was hard to open up in such a rural area.
I was starved for physical engagement, for a connection that was grounded, not just virtually simulated. That's when art stepped in, providing a medium that allowed me to reconnect with reality. To further immerse myself in this healing process, I began commuting to an art atelier in Kyoto twice a month. The atelier's emphasis on freeform learning resonated with me and through interactions with teachers and other students, I started expanding my artistic horizons.
In May 2022, I moved to Paris for few months. But my plans were derailed when I sprained my ankle during the second week and was confined indoors. To fill my time, I purchased oil pastels to experiment with. Despite the isolation and the frustration of not being able to explore Paris, the presence of colors in my small apartment provided me with much-needed comfort.
A short while later, back in Paris after a brief return to Japan, I found myself again turning to painting for solace. This time, I even gifted a finished work to a friend who had hosted me in Paris—a personal token of gratitude, and a piece of art that no one else in the world had. This was a critical period as I was grappling with workplace issues that had severely dented my faith in my professional path. My mental health was suffering, and I felt lost in life's superficial societal expectations.
Painting gifted to my friend in Paris, 2022
After my return to Japan in August 2022, I found myself in a state of intentional inactivity, or as I like to call it, "doing not doing." Despite societal pressures to rejoin the workforce and conform to expectations, I chose to stay true to my path. During this period of contemplation, painting became a part of my routine. It wasn't about becoming successful or achieving something; it was a way to express myself freely, sometimes for hours on end.
Around the same time, I started practicing 'The Artist's Way' morning journaling, which helped reinforce my belief that quantity is my job and quality is taken care of by a higher power. What unfolded next is perhaps a tale best told a year or two down the line, but you can get a glimpse of my internal transformation through the artwork in my 'Breathing Collection'.
In retrospect, how do you view your journey, and what's next?
My journey, so far, is a patchwork of experiences—each unique, each a part of my evolution. From being a fashion-conscious kid in rural Japan, a marketing student exploring the dynamics of communication, a tech professional with a flair for design, to discovering my love for painting, I've been through a myriad of experiences, all contributing to my growth.
The future? Well, it's an open canvas, ready for whatever colors, textures, or forms life throws at it. I'm excited to continue my exploration, curious about the unknown, ready to learn, grow, and paint my narrative in my unique way. Ultimately, I aim to embrace my inner artist more confidently, liberate my creativity from any self-imposed confines, and connect with people around the globe through the universal language of art.